Over the last few years I have struggled to come to terms with a lot of things in my life. I always knew that you make your own happiness, but I guess I always thought this would be easy. I know what you're thinking - what were you on? So naturally, it turns out making your own happiness isn't as simple as thinking positively - though it does help. It's also about delving deeply into your shadows and working to bring them into the light.
So at Yule I was given a nice new tarot set. And after I marvelled at their beauty I thought "what am I going to do with two tarot card decks?" You see, I've had a set for a long time and used them during circle but not all the time. I guess I figured I only needed to ask questions when I didn't know what to do, so they never got used for anything else.
For some reason I started off pulling one card out at a time and seeing what message that would have for me. And I've been surprised by the results. It's lead me to understandings - both about my life and the tarot card meaning - that I might never have truly considered. I've realised that this simple act - followed with some pathworking meditation later in the day - is telling me much more than my reflection time in my journal alone. I'm still using the journal to reflect, but it's not just about day to day issues or even my long term goals, it's also reflecting on the harder questions most of us choose to ignore.
Some of the revelations have been truly remarkable - such as the ten of chalices, which mist people who assume meant only good things, turning out to indicate family pain and isolation. I won't go into it here - and it's not as bad as it sounds as all families have issues - but I would never have said anything negative about that card before that experience. Things are not always what they seem.