Over the last two years I've been exploring discipline and how my actions affect my path. I had a feeling I needed to be controlled, to lock down some aspects I had opened in myself that seemed to be unruly. I found that certain parts of myself were speaking out of turn, being inappropriate and making me look bad and feel bad. So I thought I needed to learn how to discipline myself, to control my actions.
But my thoughts are now changing. I know think that I don't need to control myself but be in charge. I should be the one to decide what my actions are. I don't need to diminish myself but be my own leader. I decide what my path is and I don't need to kowtow to others. They may have their own opinions and while I don't need to block their opinions, I do need to assert my position. I do need to make sure my points are heard, but I do need to make sure these views are appropriate. But by deciding I am in charge of my actions instead of thinking I need to control my actions, I've changed my perspective and I've made major progress in making myself whole.
I'm on a journey to love my shadow self, to listen to what it is telling me and discover the secrets of myself - things that I've tried to hide but are trying to make themselves heard. By listening and integrating my shadow self I begin to make myself whole and to take a huge leap forward on my path.
Picture - the Earth Mother card (Empress in Rider-Waite tarot deck) which I drew as my card of the day and interpreted as a message that I needed to make myself whole by integrating my shadow.